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Your Outlook

Avoid negative self-talk. Raise your self-esteem. Be optimistic.

Have you ever noticed that while one person sees a situation as a problem, another may view it as a challenge? Research shows that adults who are optimistic maintain higher levels of mental and physical health than do those who are more negative.

There seems to be a self-fulfilling prophecy at work: When people see a stressor as a crisis, it's likely to become one, because they feel unable to cope. But when people see an event as something that can be managed, they're likely to act quickly to solve a problem before it exhausts their energy. How people perceive the situation influences how they react.

It's not clear what enables some people to see a glass "half-full" while others see it "half-empty." Outlook may be affected by one's sense of autonomy and control—feeling independent and in control of daily life. People who feel in control are more likely to believe they can handle a situation and are able to prevent it from becoming stressful. People who look at a situation as something that can be handled are confident that it will be resolved. They also take steps to confront or solve it, which may prevent the situation from becoming worse.

What you can't change

List what you enjoy about your life. Discuss why you and your family enjoy being together. List the things you like about each other. Talk about what your family's looking forward to. List events, activities, and celebrations. Explore how to keep showing your appreciation.

Sometimes, it's just as important to recognize when situations can't be controlled as to maintain autonomy and control. This avoids increased frustration and tension. When a solution is out of reach, the most effective coping strategy may be to change your outlook by "letting go," rather than by forcing a solution. Relaxation exercises help in releasing tension.

Another option is to reframe the situation: that is, to look at it in a different, more positive light. This technique often helps a person to accept and feel better about the situation. It can also provide a powerful way for natural pessimists to change their way of thinking.

Reframe your Outlook
Negative Outlook	Positive Outlook
Stubborn	Determined
Stingy	Thrifty
Bossy	A Leader
Loud	Uninhibited
Shy	Quiet
Picky	Attention to Details
Won't Follow Rules	Creative and Innovative
Talks too much	Outgoing

Reframing a situation means looking at what's happening with a different, more positive attitude. When individuals and families keep a positive outlook, they can stand up to stress more easily.

There are times when reframing doesn't fit the situation. There are also times when it seems almost impossible to feel positive. You may not be able to change the situation or even to look at it in a positive light, but it may be helpful to take walks outdoors and to try to appreciate the enjoyable aspects of life. Sometimes taking stock of personal and family strengths and assets helps us to appreciate the positive.

This page © 1991 Florida Cooperative Extension Service.

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